


deep-fried everything

by BrieRenae



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Ahk loves the Ferris wheel, Al's not really a jerk in this, Alternate Universe - Carnival, Dex hates Kah for some reason, M/M, Well - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrieRenae/pseuds/BrieRenae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the NATM gang visit the town carnival.</p>
            </blockquote>





	deep-fried everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LeftShark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftShark/gifts).



It had become second nature for Larry to connect that twinkle in Jed's eyes with a big idea, good or bad.

Of course, it never mattered whether or not the notion made sense; Larry would follow his friend anywhere, no matter what bodily harm or  
embarrassing story would become of it.

So when the blond hurried to his seat seconds before the tardy bell rang in their history class, twinkle in eye, Larry put his notes aside and prepared to spend the rest of the period dodging Mr. Welsham's sharp ears while finding out what had his buddy so excited.

“One word, pal: carnival."

Under the façade presented by scribbling in his notebook, Larry muttered a response from the corner of his mouth.

“What do you mean?"

Jed turned around in his seat completely, blatantly disregarding the ostentatiousness of such an action while sitting in the front row of all places.

“Here's what I'm thinking. It's in town, it's sponsored by the school, and students get in free. We're going, and we're getting our moonlight on!"

Though he had absolutely no idea what 'getting our moonlight on' meant, Larry accepted the plan with a nod. Asking questions would only exasperate Jed, and an impatient Jed was also a very loud one.

\--

“Question: Will there be poachers present at this— carny-vell?" Custard's tone was all business as he pointedly stroked the top of Dexter's head.

“Why would poachers go to a carnival?" Larry popped a tater tot in his mouth and repositioned himself in the comfy library chair to guard the precious potatoes from a hungry-eyed Teddy.

“Well, to kill animals, of course. Duh." Custard placed the duffel toting the monkey on the floor with a scoff.

“And you guys say I'm dumb."

“Nah," Jed sauntered over from where he'd been analyzing a section devoted to Western vigilantes and settled on the arm of Larry's chair. “I've never said 'dumb' before when describing you, frankly because it's nowhere near accurate."

Custard gave Larry a look of triumph.

“Nope," Jed continued. “Scientifically speaking, you're way beyond simply 'dumb'. You've got a brain the size of a pea!"

“It's pea brain. He's a pea brain." Larry corrected, then realized that the affronted look on Custard's face was to be taken seriously.

“Hey," he lamented, leaning towards the sullen form. “I'm sorry for laughing. No, poachers won't be at the carnival, but it's because all of the animals there are already dead."

“Wait!" Teddy intercepted, a skeptical frown on his normally cheery face. “Did you not also mention that these 'carnivals' may contain whimsical creatures such as elephants and lions?"

At his side, Wea gasped, a hand to her mouth.

“They killed those animals?"

“No!" Larry held his hands up in an appeasing gesture—though not before smacking Teddy's own creeping hands away from his tots— and sighed.

“I don't think this carnival will even have those animals, right Jed?"

“Mmhmm. Just a few rides, some deep-fried deliciousness and a Ferris wheel."

“Exactly." Larry conceded. “Are we clear? Everyone okay with that?"

Murmurs of agreement and one final smack to Teddy, and they returned to their meal.

Chuckling heartily at Teddy's attempts to bargain with Larry, Custard stomped his boot down- right onto the empty duffel.

“Wait. Where's-"

With timing that could only be described as convenient, a very angry looking Al trudged up to the group, Dex's scruff in his hand. He placed the squirming primate down on Custard's lap, then pointed at them.

“You all owe me. That thing was this close to gettin' outta here and scaring the crap outta everyone. You woulda gotten kicked out so fast your head would spin."

“Th-thanks, Al." Larry averted his eyes, completely unfamiliar with what the notorious school bad boy deemed disrespectful in terms of eye contact. “What would you like?"

Best to get it over with now. Find out what he wanted and figure out a way to give it to him.

“Word is the carnival's in town," he drawled. “I want in— for free. Got it?"

No, Larry did not 'got it', but he nodded anyway. As Al lumbered off, Larry turned to Jed.

“Does he not know that we all get in free anyway?"

“Technically, Al's not a student here right now. He's just doing community service."

Larry recalled that, after the vandalization of six teacher vehicles had been found to be Al's own doing, he was expelled and assigned seventy-five days of community service. At the school.

What a brilliant move.

It looked like he was out fifteen dollars.

Teddy suddenly raced off, ducking into the Memoir section. Larry looked down.

His tots were gone.

\--

“What is that?"

“That is literally the sixty-seventh time you have asked me that question. Either rephrase it entirely or keep quiet because I swear to Rah I will explode."

“You make quite the tempting offer, brother." Ahk tore his eyes away from the circular structure and looked to his elder sibling, grinning cheekily.

“I'm going to decide for you then. Keep quiet."

“Mother and father placed you in a position of power, true. But, seeing that the extent of that power reaches only finances and overall up-keeping of our vacation quarters, you are in no place to command me. So, ha!"

Ahk fell into a fit of giggles at Kah's look of discontent and continued their journey towards the place of multi- colored lights and heavenly aromas. 

Glancing up at the stars, just beginning to appear in the darkening sky, he felt an odd sense of premonition, but no uncertainty. All would proceed as the gods meant for it to, and that was enough for him.

They finally reached the entrance and were greeted by a perky young woman with an infectious grin.

“Hi, and welcome to the Roosevelt High Summer Carnival! Entry fees are fifteen dollars each."

As his brother dug the bills out of his pocket, muttering currency changes under his breath, Ahk found himself once again transfixed by the large wheel turning slowly, particularly its height, so close to the stars.

“That should suffice, yes?"

She counted the money quickly, coming up with an extra two.

“Would you like to donate this to our school? We're trying to get new textbooks to help with our Ready Set Teach program. It helps us meet and mentor children who-"

“Actually-" Kah reached out for the bills, only to have Ahk intercept his arm and hold it out for a wristband.

“We would love to." She beamed at him, then fastened the wristbands and waved them off towards the grounds.

“Have fun!"

\--

“It smells of sweat and dung!" Teddy exclaimed as they paraded through the grounds.

Well, to be specific, Teddy was parading. Everyone else followed at a distance where they could deny knowing him if necessary.

“I know," Jed wrinkled his nose in distaste, only to receive an incredulous snort from Custard.

“You wouldn't last ten seconds in the country, cowboy. Out there, this is the smell of adventure."

“Of conquest!" Teddy punched a fist into the air. “Of freedom and possibilities and WHAT is that smell?"

“It's the smell of freedom," Larry answered mockingly. Teddy came to a complete stop and proceeded to do three complete spins.

“No," he mused. “That's something different."

“Perhaps it's the concession stand?" Wea offered, motioning to the stalls up ahead.

“We must obtain their riches!" Custard cried, adjusting the sling on his back that carried Dexter. 

“Onwards!"

\--

“No."

Ahk stopped short as Kah held a hand up and launched another dart at the shifting balloons.

“You have no idea of what my request was going to be."

“I do, actually, from the fact that you have been entertained by that stupid wheel of Ferris for all of two hours."

He missed his third shot, leaving him with only fifty points.

“What say you, brother? Luminescent whistle or fish in a bag?"

“I will give you my opinion only if you give me another ticket."

Kah scoffed and pointed to the fish.

“I do not require your input to further better my life. Find another attraction."

Clearly upset as his brother made his way to the beanbag toss, Ahk drifted towards the scent of heavily deep-fried foods, hoping his remaining four American dollars could gain him sustenance.

“Heavenly! Absolutely otherworldly, Wea, darling, you must try it!"

As he rounded the back of the stall, Ahk found a deeply grinning man offering his cloud-textured mass on a stick to a willowy woman, only to draw it back sharply as she began to pick a piece off.

“Steady on, my love. I do not intend to lose the entirety of such glorious bounty on your greediness."

While Ahk found this rather curious, he turned his attention to the display, finding he didn't recognize what much of the items were.

A gaggle of children suddenly raced past him, waving bills and shouting orders. Ahk took the chance to watch.

Apparently, a 'funnel cake' was some type of bread placed in heated oil then dusted with white stuff and other sweets. 'Corn dogs' appeared to be some sort of meat dipped in batter, and 'churros' a long, cinnamon-scented delicacy.

The group sauntered off, leaving an awestruck Ahk to amble forward, the tired-looking man regarding him with a bored expression.

"What'll it be?"

“Ah," he pored over the newfound information he'd just received, considering the money in his pocket.

“One funnel cake, please."

The man took his payment and set to preparing the cake leisurely. He was not, however, pleased to answer Ahk's various questions and presented him with the plate and a blank face. 

Recognizing that he was wearing the man's patience thinner by the second, Ahk took the plate wordlessly and tentatively tore a bit from the warm edge.

“A true assault on the senses, is it not?"

It took Ahk a moment to locate the source, and even then, he couldn't remove the pleasantly surprised smile on his lips.

The cheery young man and woman had noticed his clear revelry in the funnel cake's taste, and headed over to him.

“It is delicious." Ahk replied, savoring the taste with relish.

“We saw your approach and were wondering why you appeared so sad." The woman tilted her head, dark eyes full of concern.

“Oh," Ahk remembered his upset with a frown and gestured to the Ferris wheel.

“My brother refuses to spare me the tickets I need to have another go at that wonderful structure."

Smiling warmly, the young woman stepped closer.

“Your accent— where exactly are you from, friend?"

“Gezira, just by Cairo."

“An Egyptian!" The male seemed so pleased by this that Ahk returned his smile. “Such a grand heritage to be found. Oh, I'm sure you have stories in droves about your country!"

Around the funnel cake in his mouth, Ahk nodded.

“Actually, the reason I wish to ride the wheel so many times is to feel closer to our deities. Such a nice feeling."

The pair considered this for a moment, then were abruptly accosted by a rowdy group led by a wild-eyed man with what appeared to be a harness on his back.

“Have any of you seen Dexter?"

“You've lost your monkey?" The girl gave an exasperated sigh and looked up to the heavens.

“Yes, now help us find him!" 

A bit unsettled by the sudden noise and confusion, Ahk made to move away, only to have the woman's partner clap a hand on his shoulder.

“Now hold on a minute," he fished around in his pocket, presenting a line of tickets that he pressed into Ahk's free hand. “Name's Teddy, this is Wea, these are our friends. We're on a mission, and if you'd like to help, those tickets are yours."

\--

“Does this feel wrong to you?" Jed muttered in Larry's ear as they watched Ahk toiling the ground for tracks at Wea's side.

“What do you mean?" Larry scanned the crowd, hoping for a chance at Dexter crawling around.

“It's like some type of slavery." Larry couldn't help but laugh at this, momentarily calling the trackers' attention. For a moment, he held a look with Ahk, eyes full of intensity, and sheepishly smiled back.

Before he could respond, a shrill scream rose above the carnival din, and Ahk stiffened.

“Kah. My brother!"

He took off, feet constantly changing direction as he tried to locate the source of the screams, the group at his heels. 

\--

Yes, Jed had snuck off in the confusion to hit the concession stand again, but in his defense, it was for research purposes only.

The man who had served him earlier had held his plate away teasingly and his eyes twinkled—twinkled!— at Jed's attempts to get it back.

This return was nothing more than a follow-up, to ensure that his findings were valid.

“One order of nachos for the lady. A pickle for the child."

Jed slipped into line behind the current customers and greeted the server with a grin.

“Hello, again. Remember me?"

The man beamed happily, leaning over the counter.

“I do. What can I get you this time?"

“No, nothing from here." Jed patted his pockets demonstratively. “I've got no funds— just wanted to talk."

“Well, as a proud gentleman, I can't accept that. Here," he selected a stick of cotton candy and handed it to Jed with a smile. "Courtesy of Octavius."

Jed hid his blush behind the fluffy swirls, nipping softly at the candy.

“It's good. Thank you."

“No problem. Now, what do you want to talk about?"

“I would like to talk about why you just gave away a product, Octavius."

A tightly-ponytailed woman, clearly Octavius's superior based on his submissive body language.

“I was simply–"

“You flirt on your own time, and since this is my time, pay up."

As Octavius sighed and reached into his pocket, Jed leaned over to face the woman.

“Excuse me, but he was just being a nice guy. That's not a reason to punish him."

She glared at him.

Jed smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> A very late birthday present for my best friend. More to come.


End file.
